'I am a survivor'
By, Jamie Baker, The Telegram, May 15, 2007
The word “survival” means a lot of things to Jennifer Murphy.
When she was 21, she found out she was HIV-positive. She said her doctor gave her three years to live. Her lone goal at the time was to live to see her child go to kindergarten.
Now, at 33, Murphy’s health is stable, but that doesn’t mean things have gotten a whole lot easier.
She has had to deal with being through the public wringer twice over allegations she failed to tell men with whom she had sex that she carries the HIV virus.
“I’ve been scandalized. There’s no other word for it,” Murphy says in a one-on-one interview with The Telegram, referring to how she has been treated in the public eye.
“I’ve been slandered, degraded, and discriminated against.”
On Monday, however, a ray of light shone into what has been an often grey existence for the St. John’s woman, when a charge of aggravated sexual assault against her was withdrawn.
She had been accused by a local man of having sex without telling him about her illness.
Murphy, who had previously been sentenced to a year of house arrest on a similar charge in Ontario in 2005, has maintained the man was fully aware of her health status, and that a condom was used.
In provincial court, Crown prosecutor Frances Knickle said a review of the evidence suggested it would not be appropriate for the case to proceed, effectively clearing Murphy of the charge.
“It’s vindication. This is the best day of my life, I just can’t explain it,” Murphy said shortly after appearing in court — even though it wasn’t required that she be there in person.
“People look at me and say ‘you’re such a strong person,’ but I’m shattered like glass inside. I’m just trying to put my life back together.”
Looking at Murphy, you would never say she’s faced such incredible adversity.
An attractive, petite woman with a 1,000-watt smile and boundless energy, she never breaks eye contact when she makes a point she feels is important.
She said she refuses to let her illness define who she is, even if others have attempted to do just that.
“I am a survivor, not a victim,” she says defiantly.
She acknowledges, however, that there are times when she feels alone and depressed.
But she also contends she has a lot to offer, and insists that, despite her illness, she should be able to lead the relatively normal life of any 30-something-year-old woman.
Murphy said her first goal, though, is to continue educating people about sexual health and HIV awareness. She said her public battles have made her “the ultimate counsellor.”
In fact, she plans to write a book about her experiences and says she is looking for someone to help with writing it.
She also wants to attend the next international AIDS conference in Mexico, to talk about the criminalization of the disease.
“I’m a liberated woman and there isn’t anything that’s going to shut me up. I’m going to be known as a loving mother, a caring friend and an activist,” she says. “I want to share my experience, my struggle, my strength and my hopes.”
Although HIV/AIDS has been around for more than a generation, she said it bothers her that people aren’t taking more care to protect themselves.
It may not be much of an ice-breaker to ask a person in a bar if they have been tested for HIV, for example, but she said the current situation dictates that it might be sensible for more people to do so.
“People are still under the illusion that it can’t happen to them. It happens every day,” she says. “I go to George Street and I see men and girls going off drunk, everybody just wants to have sex and nobody is thinking about HIV or condoms.
“I understand why people don’t talk about it, but you have to start caring about your health.”
Murphy calls Monday’s outcome a victory for both her and the HIV/AIDS community, and credits her family for helping her get through the many ordeals she has faced.
She singles out her mother, brother, sister and friends for “being by my side,” but she pays particular praise to her now-16-year-old son, whom she simply calls “my strength,”
“He is my inspiration and my ultimate reason for living and fighting,” she says. “I’ve been strong for him for so many years and now I’m tapping into his strength.
“He is my angel, my gift. He’s a fine young gentleman.”
Murphy hopes she will be able to have some semblance of normalcy in her life, and says she remains unfettered by how anyone might treat her because of her illness or legal matters.
“This is my conclusion — people who judge me or are afraid to be around me, those are the people spreading HIV because they don’t have a clue,” she says.
Source: http://www.thetelegram.com/index.cfm?sid=29681&sc=79
The word “survival” means a lot of things to Jennifer Murphy.
When she was 21, she found out she was HIV-positive. She said her doctor gave her three years to live. Her lone goal at the time was to live to see her child go to kindergarten.
Now, at 33, Murphy’s health is stable, but that doesn’t mean things have gotten a whole lot easier.
She has had to deal with being through the public wringer twice over allegations she failed to tell men with whom she had sex that she carries the HIV virus.
“I’ve been scandalized. There’s no other word for it,” Murphy says in a one-on-one interview with The Telegram, referring to how she has been treated in the public eye.
“I’ve been slandered, degraded, and discriminated against.”
On Monday, however, a ray of light shone into what has been an often grey existence for the St. John’s woman, when a charge of aggravated sexual assault against her was withdrawn.
She had been accused by a local man of having sex without telling him about her illness.
Murphy, who had previously been sentenced to a year of house arrest on a similar charge in Ontario in 2005, has maintained the man was fully aware of her health status, and that a condom was used.
In provincial court, Crown prosecutor Frances Knickle said a review of the evidence suggested it would not be appropriate for the case to proceed, effectively clearing Murphy of the charge.
“It’s vindication. This is the best day of my life, I just can’t explain it,” Murphy said shortly after appearing in court — even though it wasn’t required that she be there in person.
“People look at me and say ‘you’re such a strong person,’ but I’m shattered like glass inside. I’m just trying to put my life back together.”
Looking at Murphy, you would never say she’s faced such incredible adversity.
An attractive, petite woman with a 1,000-watt smile and boundless energy, she never breaks eye contact when she makes a point she feels is important.
She said she refuses to let her illness define who she is, even if others have attempted to do just that.
“I am a survivor, not a victim,” she says defiantly.
She acknowledges, however, that there are times when she feels alone and depressed.
But she also contends she has a lot to offer, and insists that, despite her illness, she should be able to lead the relatively normal life of any 30-something-year-old woman.
Murphy said her first goal, though, is to continue educating people about sexual health and HIV awareness. She said her public battles have made her “the ultimate counsellor.”
In fact, she plans to write a book about her experiences and says she is looking for someone to help with writing it.
She also wants to attend the next international AIDS conference in Mexico, to talk about the criminalization of the disease.
“I’m a liberated woman and there isn’t anything that’s going to shut me up. I’m going to be known as a loving mother, a caring friend and an activist,” she says. “I want to share my experience, my struggle, my strength and my hopes.”
Although HIV/AIDS has been around for more than a generation, she said it bothers her that people aren’t taking more care to protect themselves.
It may not be much of an ice-breaker to ask a person in a bar if they have been tested for HIV, for example, but she said the current situation dictates that it might be sensible for more people to do so.
“People are still under the illusion that it can’t happen to them. It happens every day,” she says. “I go to George Street and I see men and girls going off drunk, everybody just wants to have sex and nobody is thinking about HIV or condoms.
“I understand why people don’t talk about it, but you have to start caring about your health.”
Murphy calls Monday’s outcome a victory for both her and the HIV/AIDS community, and credits her family for helping her get through the many ordeals she has faced.
She singles out her mother, brother, sister and friends for “being by my side,” but she pays particular praise to her now-16-year-old son, whom she simply calls “my strength,”
“He is my inspiration and my ultimate reason for living and fighting,” she says. “I’ve been strong for him for so many years and now I’m tapping into his strength.
“He is my angel, my gift. He’s a fine young gentleman.”
Murphy hopes she will be able to have some semblance of normalcy in her life, and says she remains unfettered by how anyone might treat her because of her illness or legal matters.
“This is my conclusion — people who judge me or are afraid to be around me, those are the people spreading HIV because they don’t have a clue,” she says.
Source: http://www.thetelegram.com/index.cfm?sid=29681&sc=79
posted by AIDS-Care-Watch at 11:27 am
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