HIV Testimonies

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Staying alive: the women who are immune to Aids

By, The Observer, May 27, 2007
In the past 30 years Agnes has had unprotected sex with up to 2,000 infected men. Yet she and a small number of her fellow sex workers are still free from Aids. Stephanie Nolen travels to Majengo, a slum in Nairobi, to meet the extraordinary women and researchers who are changing the history of HIV

I lay down to test the mattress: it was lumpy and totally unyielding, not the sort of place one would want to spend much time, which seemed a little odd, given the purpose of this room. Agnes Munyiva saw my wince, laughed and patted the bed. 'You need it to be hard, because otherwise you could get hurt when the men are pushing on you,' she explained.

The mattress, stuffed with lumpy cotton and resting on a plain metal frame, fills most of her room, just one metre by two. The walls are made of mud, the roof of scraps of tin. The air has a tang from the raw sewage and rotting food scraps in the alley outside, and Agnes tries to keep the clouds of flies at bay with a crisp white muslin curtain in the doorway. Remnants of linoleum, pieced together like a quilt, cover most of the dirt floor. She has a kerosene burner for making tea and a gas lantern. Two mouldy calendars, giveaways from insurance companies many years back, are tacked to the walls, the only decoration. A collection of worn facecloths hangs drying on a small clothesline. Beside the bed she keeps a large white box, containing the best part of a gross of condoms.

Agnes rents this room for 900 Kenyan shillings (£6) a month, bed included. She doesn't live here - she also rents another room, a bit bigger than this one, on the other side of Majengo, a slum neighbourhood on the edge of Nairobi. She shares that room with the three youngest of her five children. They have never seen this one. This room is just for work.

Agnes arrives here around six o'clock each morning, when the sun is climbing in the sky, and she makes sure she is on the way home before the sun sinks again 12 hours later - she is a lady of the evening who works only in the daylight hours. There is plenty of rape and theft and murder in Majengo in the daytime, but at night the streets are completely lawless. When Agnes arrives in the morning, she sweeps the patch of floor and the narrow alley outside. She makes a cup of tea, sips it from a battered tin mug, stacks the cloths by the bed. Then she takes a low three-legged wooden stool into the alley, sits down and waits for business. 'Karibu,' she says as men pass - Kiswahili for welcome. She gives them a wink and her slow smile that unfurls like honey off a spoon. 'We all try our luck each time a person passes,' she explained. 'If he stops to look at me maybe he is interested, but if not, maybe he is used to someone else.' In front of every third or fourth shack in the streets a woman sits on a stool, modestly dressed like Agnes, who wore a bright wrap printed with blue and yellow chickens on the day she introduced me to a working woman's life in Majengo.

Most days a man stops before she has been in the alley for half an hour. 'They are people on their way to work. Or men on the road who spent the night away from their wives - they pass here for breakfast.' When a man stops at Agnes's soft 'Karibu', she invites him to step into her room. 'Most men are discreet - the ones with wives want to get in the door very quickly.' Inside, they negotiate. The price is set at between 50 and 100 shillings - 37p to 75p. She slides the door closed, but the scratchy sounds of a neighbour's transistor radio drift through the screened window; her customer knows he must be silent. 'We even tell them not to make a lot of noise,' Agnes said, sounding very prim, 'because there could be a family in the next house.' She removes her wrap, lies back on the bed, her arms above her head. She does not embrace the client, whispers no encouragement. This is a brisk transaction. 'If your five minutes are over and you are still there,' she pointed at her chest, 'you have to pay another 50 shillings,' she said firmly. Business concluded, her client steps over the curious chickens in the doorway and back out into the alley, and Agnes cleans up with the cloths and a pitcher of water from the standpipe at the end of the alley. Then she returns to the stool.

This interaction is repeated a dozen times each day. A fair portion of the men who stop have spent time with Agnes before. 'The service must have been good, so they come back,' she told me with a giggle. At the end of the day, she padlocks the door and takes home perhaps 500 shillings, enough for some food bought at the market stalls on the way, and a bit put aside for the next instalment of the children's school fees, or some kerosene or soap.

Agnes came to Nairobi from Machakos, two hours to the east by bus, in 1971. She was 20 years old. There was only the exhausting work of farming at home, and she hoped to find a job in the city. Before long she was hired as a maid in a middle-class house. That lasted a year, and then she found more work mending clothes, and then casual labour in the industrial area on the edge of the booming city. That led to a job making paper bags in a factory - but she injured a finger in the machinery after a couple of years and was fired. By then she had had three small children, fathered by a couple of boyfriends who hadn't stuck around. Her mother had died back home, her father was unwell, and she felt there was no one in Machakos to whom she could turn.

Agnes had only one room, then, in Majengo, the sort of chaotic community at the edge of the city where so many of Africa's rural poor end up. Majengo is built around a vast market for mitumba - second-hand clothes given by North Americans and Europeans to charity shops that end up shipped to Africa in giant bales. Traders from all over east Africa come to hunt for bargains in First World cast-offs. The market also sells everything from plastic washbasins to jerry-rigged, scrap-metal satellite dishes. There are food stalls and tearooms and hostels for the travellers.

Thousands of people move through here every day, many with a little disposable income suddenly in their pocket: like similar communities the world over, it is a natural centre for sex work. In addition to the travellers from out of town, men from all over Nairobi - police officers, civil servants, welders, street sweepers, teachers and taxi drivers - seek out the anonymity of the vast market for their occasional sexual encounters.

When Agnes was despairing about how to make money, how she would survive in the city, her neighbours suggested she try umalaya, sex for money. 'In the neighbourhood there were other women who were doing it, and they encouraged me to try it. I had children who needed food.' And so, with great reluctance, she began to sit on a wooden stool outside her home and try to catch the eye of men who passed by. She never imagined, in those first few weeks, that she would be earning a living this way 30 years later.

Today, thousands of women work in the alleys of Majengo and the other sprawling slums of Nairobi, but only one or two of Agnes's friends from her first days in the business are still around. 'The ones I started with are no longer here - they have died,' she said simply. 'Most of the people I have worked with have died.' Beginning in the early Eighties, women started to get thin, with sharp coughs and white fur that coated their mouths and throats; back then they called the illness Plastic, Agnes said, because city workers hastily wrapped up the bodies of people who died that way in plastic sheeting. Some of the women died there in Majengo, and others went back to the village when they grew too sick to work. But Agnes remained healthy, year after year.

What happened to her - or, more accurately, what didn't happen to her - would prove to be one of the greatest discoveries in the 25-year battle with Aids. She would acquire, over the next two decades, a certain fame, in the world of virology and infectious disease, as one of those Nairobi prostitutes. But Agnes's body would be slower to give up its secrets than anyone imagined.

This story starts with chancroid, a venereal disease that causes suppurating ulcers on the genitals. On the other side of the world from Nairobi, in the Canadian prairie city of Winnipeg, there was an outbreak of chancroid in the late Seventies, and infectious-disease experts at the University of Manitoba began to investigate. Before long they had figured out how to grow the bacteria in the lab, but the outbreak had quickly been brought under control by public health officials, and the researchers were left without patients. That might have been the end of it, had a Winnipeg microbiologist not got talking to a colleague from the University of Nairobi at a conference a few months later. 'You want chancroid?' the Kenyan asked. 'We've got chancroid.'

And so Allan Ronald flew to Nairobi in 1980. He soon noticed that sexually transmitted infections, or STIs, such as chlamydia and gonorrhoea were rampant. He also noticed that most of the people seeking help at government clinics for these infections had in common the fact that they frequented prostitutes in an industrial slum. He and a couple of colleagues set up a shop-front clinic in Nairobi, offering free treatment to anyone in return for participation in medical research. Before long the operation expanded into slums around the city. They were candy-store settings for young western researchers, with more weird microbes coming through the door in a single morning than they might see in a year back home. And their patients were more than happy to participate, in exchange for the top-notch health care they could never have afforded to purchase in Nairobi. 'Here we got treatment if we were diagnosed - the city clinic never had any drugs,' said Agnes, who first attended a clinic in 1983 and soon became a regular. And, she said, she and the other women felt less judged in the research clinic; no one gossiped about the way they earned their living.

In those first few years, the Manitobans and colleagues from other universities in the west who joined them did some important research on sexually transmitted diseases, and the impact on children whose mothers were infected with gonorrhoea or chlamydia. But the discovery that would rock the scientific world came from the whim of a graduate student. In 1985, Joan Kreiss, a student researcher from the University of Washington, decided to test the sex workers, including Agnes, for HIV. The virus had been identified in New York four years earlier, and Kreiss wanted to use the new test for antibodies to HIV. Her older colleagues were dubious. They suspected, from post-mortems on patients who had symptoms similar to those being reported in New York, that HIV was present in Nairobi - and years later, tests of stored blood from east Africa would show that, in fact, some communities in the region at that point had infection rates as high as 20 per cent. But there was not a single documented case of Aids in Kenya at the time, and many scientists were doubtful that women could even catch the disease through sex. So no one was prepared for what Kreiss found. Two-thirds of the women she tested were HIV-positive.

Her findings - one of the earliest recorded signs of the African epidemic - did not go down well. The government of Kenya threatened to deport the foreign researchers and shut the whole project down. 'The government said, "It's not true what you are saying! You're going to drive the tourists out of Kenya!"' recalled a rueful Elizabeth Ngugi, a community health professor at the University of Nairobi. She was working ('in the mud and in the sun and in the rain and in the dust') to get to know Agnes and the Majengo women, building relationships that would be the core of research through the decades. She soon organised 600 women into support groups, brought them into the clinic for classes on sexually transmitted diseases, gave them condoms and encouraged them to present a united front to clients, insisting on protected sex.

Over the next few years, research involving the women yielded two big discoveries. The first was that mothers passed HIV to their babies in breast milk. Researchers already knew there was some transmission of the virus this way, but a study in the slum showed that the longer a mother breastfed, the higher was the risk of transmission - and that far from being negligible, this was in fact a major source of infection. The second major finding was that a person with a conventional STI, such as gonorrhoea, has a much higher chance of contracting HIV - as much as 70 per cent higher - than a person not infected. All of this, however, paled beside a discovery that emerged in the late Eighties. Frank Plummer, now the director of Canada's Centre for Infectious Disease Prevention and Control, in Ottawa, worked in the Nairobi project from its early days. He was intrigued by these HIV-positive women, who gave the lie to so much of the predominant thinking about Aids at the time - that it didn't exist in Africa, that women couldn't get it, that heterosexual sex was no real risk. By 1988, he had noticed something bizarre: over time, more and more of the women were testing positive for HIV - but not all of them. Some, including Agnes, were still around, three and four and five years later, and in their biannual HIV tests they were still negative. Plummer began to track them closely, and concluded that a small number of the women - perhaps five per cent - were simply not getting infected. 'They're basically immune to HIV,' he told me. 'Their immune systems for whatever reason are able to recognise and kill HIV.' In the study of a particularly impenetrable virus, this was a massive discovery.

Keith Fowke, a professor of medical microbiology at the University of Manitoba, who was then a student working under Frank Plummer in Nairobi, explained it like this. 'We did the models and found that these women were not just really, really, really lucky - it was beyond the statistical chance of luck playing a role. We estimated that many of these women have had 500 to 2,000 sexual exposures to infected men when they weren't using a condom.' Surveys found that a quarter of the men who frequented sex workers in the area were HIV-positive. And while Ngugi's shack-to-shack education efforts had early success getting Agnes and the other women to use condoms with some of their one-off clients, there were still many exceptions: men would pay extra not to use condoms - money that women hard-up for cash were reluctant to forgo - and sex workers didn't use them with their 'regulars', men they saw every week or two. Ngugi's surveys found that the women used condoms, at best, only 75 per cent of the time, so there could be no question that Agnes and a handful of others had been routinely exposed to HIV over a decade or more.

Yet they weren't infected. It wasn't good nutrition - the women did not earn enough to eat well - and it wasn't that they somehow took better care of themselves, because they had had other STIs and ailments. Something else was happening to make these women immune.

Then Plummer and his team noticed something even more peculiar. The women's likelihood of being infected with HIV/Aids was related to the length of time they had been doing sex work: the longer a woman had been selling sex in Majengo, the less likely she was to be infected. If she'd been doing it for five years and was still HIV-negative, the data suggested, then the odds were she was going to stay that way. These findings were so counterintuitive that Plummer and his team struggled to find anyone who would publish them. The phenomenon didn't get major attention until two years later, when he described the resistant women at the International Aids Conference in Amsterdam in 1992.

Once the public really began to understand that there were people who were immune to Aids - and the dark irony that it was the sex workers vilified for spreading the disease - Majengo became a focus of attention. Television news teams poured into the slum, clamouring to meet the women. The attention left Agnes baffled. 'I just thank God,' she said then, as she does now. She couldn't explain why she wasn't sick. She could just give thanks for it at Mass every Sunday morning.

The researchers, however, were frantically trying to decode what was going on in the bodies of Agnes and the other women. 'Either the virus couldn't infect their cells at all or the virus could but their bodies were clearing the infection in some way,' explained Fowke. 'But when we isolated the blood cells of some women in the lab and exposed their cells to HIV, it could get inside their cells and was able to replicate and able to grow just fine. So we started looking at their immune system - HIV was able to establish initial infection and the immune system was able to clear it,' Fowke said. 'We've really found cells that can kill HIV in these women.'

Agnes has, in effect, a callus: the first time she was exposed to the virus, her body produced enough killer T cells to fight it off. This part isn't unique - the body of every person who is exposed to HIV mounts some level of response, and sometimes manages to fight it off; a single exposure does not guarantee infection. But Agnes's body, it seems, not only produced sufficient and strong enough cells to fight the virus off the first time, it then produced a whole raft of those killer Ts, flooding her system with guardians whose sole brief was to keep an eye out for cells infected with HIV. The infected cells have a distinct pattern of little bumps on them, called epitopes, which act like a red rose in the lapel as far as the killer Ts are concerned, letting them know just which cells they want to hunt down. Then every subsequent time - probably thousands of times - that HIV got into Agnes's body, her killer T cells drove it back. A person does not normally maintain a large number of killer T cells for a long period - just long enough to kill something off, then production drops. But in Agnes, fairly constant exposure to HIV kept her killer T cell count high.

This conclusion was reinforced when Plummer and his team noticed that women who take a 'sex break' - who make a trip home to the village for a few weeks, or save up a little money and leave sex work for a while to try selling shoes instead, or hook up with a regular who keeps them in cash for a year or two - were far more likely to get infected, almost immediately, if they returned to sex work, even though previously they had had years of apparent immunity. On the break, their bodies stopped making the killer T cells, leaving them vulnerable again.

The Nairobi women aren't the only people in the world immune to HIV. Some Caucasian men have been found to have a genetic mutation that means their cells lack one of the molecular 'hooks' that HIV latches on to, and so they cannot be infected. And no doubt there are other groups of people who, like these women, are able to kill off the virus - but it is much easier to see, and monitor, in this community of women who are repeatedly exposed to the virus than it would be in, say, a group of nuns in a convent in Europe. They might be immune to HIV, too, but how would anyone ever tell?

From the moment it became clear that Agnes and a handful of other women in Majengo - about 100 to date - really could fight off the virus, the researchers in Nairobi hoped that their biology would hold the secret of an HIV vaccine. Soon a team from Oxford University was at work on a vaccine that used the epitopes (the tell-tale bumps on infected cells) that triggered Agnes's killer Ts. They hoped it would provoke other people's bodies to produce killer T cells in the same way that the real virus appeared to trigger production in the sex workers. Trials began in Nairobi in 2001, and a second trial was mounted by Pontiano Kaleebu and his colleagues in Entebbe a couple of years later. But despite high hopes, the Oxford vaccine didn't cause that explosion of killer T cells. And so it was back to the painstaking work of trying to figure out the secret of Agnes's immunity. 'Sometimes a vaccine feels impossibly far away,' sighed Keith Fowke. 'All our knowledge about these HIV-resistant people is interesting and I feel it's important... but it is frustrating.'

For Ngugi, watching as Aids decimates ever more of this community where she has built such strong ties, the gains are hollow. 'Yes, it's fascinating,' she told me. 'But sometimes I feel very sad. Sometimes you are not a scientist but a friend, and you feel the emptiness inside.'

There was a certain sense of breath-holding among the Nairobi researchers when Plummer and his team first proved the women's bodies were able to kill off HIV, but that breath has long since been let out. Today, the research strategy in Majengo revolves around intense study of Agnes and the other resistant women (who make up about five per cent of the cohort at any one time), from analysing their genome to breaking down the chemical components of the mucosal membranes in their vaginas, in an effort to figure out what may be protecting them. So far researchers have not found anything present in 100 per cent of the women, so it may be that the protection comes from multiple overlapping factors, including some that are genetic. There is a strong family correlation - people related to an HIV-resistant woman seem to be half as likely to get infected as people who are not related.

Agnes is aware that she is a fascinating specimen. 'Most of the people have been very interested in me,' she said matter-of-factly. But she has no understanding of the biological basis for her HIV resistance. 'No one has told me,' she said with a shrug. She gets good, free health care at the clinic for the occasional sexually transmitted infection and also for respiratory infections which plague residents of the polluted slum. So she is happy to give them her blood a couple of times a year, and to enjoy a sense of contributing something to her community.

But Agnes's survival has served to highlight a disquieting aspect of this research. She has come to the clinic for more than 20 years. In that time, more than $22m in scientific grant money has flowed through the project, and many of the researchers have earned reputations as the top experts in their fields. Yet Agnes and a handful of other women are still selling sex, to an average of eight clients a day, still for a dollar or two each time - although they say they would like nothing more than to get out of sex work. When I asked her what she would like to do instead, Agnes's broad face lit up. 'Any kind of job I could do. I could be a cleaner or anything. But it's very difficult to get a job - you have to know somebody to get a job.' And Agnes said she doesn't know anybody who could help. With only limited literacy after three years of primary school, and no other skills, Agnes said she sees no other options. 'It's embarrassing, this profession,' she said. She refuses to discuss what she does for a living with her children, although she is sure they know. 'I've never told them what I do, but I think they can see it. I think they know what I'm doing is not good but they know I do it to provide for them.'

Agnes's frustration with her life in sex work raises troubling ethical questions about research, the kind that bedevil investigations into Aids vaccines, prevention technologies and treatment, all of which, by definition, involve large groups of poor Africans, the people most at risk. What obligation does a researcher such as Plummer have to the women who have given him their blood for 20 years? What does this project owe Agnes?

'Those are difficult questions,' Plummer told me. 'My philosophy has been: try to help as many people as we can with what resources we have so we can ultimately solve it. We provide treatment for a lot of medical conditions and counselling for safer sexual behaviour and free condoms and referral to other medical services - which prevents about 10,000 infections each year. We do have an obligation to provide some basic level of care, and since 2004 we have provided anti-retroviral treatment [ARV], which is an important step. But ARV drugs are not going to solve this problem.' Plummer doesn't disagree that women like Agnes need a route out of prostitution. 'I don't know what those ways out are, though, and anything we could do is just working on the margins - it's unlikely we'll be able to do anything to get them to the point that they're not partially dependent on sex work: you can only make so much money selling tomatoes or weaving baskets.'

His Kenyan colleague Elizabeth Ngugi is unconvinced by this line of argument. 'These women have given the world such a huge body of knowledge, but what has the world done to help them change? The research findings have given us so much, but what have we given back? There is more research money coming all the time - quite clearly there is an imbalance.' In 2002, she received funds from a donor agency to train 120 of the women in new skills such as dressmaking and hairdressing, and she said 80 of them successfully made the transition out of sex work. She has helped a few others make their way to local benevolent agencies and out of the business, but most are stuck, and the research budget includes no funds to give them other options - a grim irony when, as she pointed out, they've educated all the women about what a huge risk sex work is to their lives.

Plummer agreed that the women need basic education in numeracy and savings and small-business skills. 'But you can't get a research grant for that,' he said. The ethics of science today require that the women get counselling and condoms, but ethics approval boards make no demands about maths classes or instruction in how to set up an alleyway beauty salon.

There is a small patch of grey at Agnes's hairline these days, and her body has thickened to that of a woman of a certain age. 'I'm getting old,' she said. 'There will be a time that I'm too old - at around 60. Maybe 10 years from now clients will not even look for me. It will be difficult.' Now she feels lucky to get 100 shillings from a client, when a young woman newly arrived in Majengo might get as much as 300 - although in any case, trade is not what it once was. 'Ever since we got this disease, business has dropped. Most men go home to their wives on the weekend.'

Of the men who still buy sex (and she manages to find nine or 10 each day), most now agree to use condoms - but not all, and Agnes worries. She would like to start a small business that would keep her family when men no longer stop outside her room, but she used all the few thousand shillings she had saved to put up a single-room house on the land her father left her back in the village: insurance in case her luck runs out and she needs to go home.

Agnes's mysterious immune system has garnered her considerable fame in the world of Aids, but little else. She lives a life almost totally unchanged from her first days in umalaya 30 years ago. 'I can buy our daily food out of what I earn, and that's all,' she told me as we sat in the shade of her bustling alley. 'I don't feel famous. It's only that my problems push me to do sex work. If I could find something else, I would.'


Source: http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,,2087394,00.html

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

An open letter to President of India Ensure Universal Treatment Accessibility

To,
Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam,
President of India,
Rastrapati Bhavan,
New Delhi, India.

Sub: An open letter to Ensure Universal Treatment Accessibility of
the Citizens Living with HIV in India.

Hon'ble Sir,

On the eve of "INTERNATIONAL CANDLE LIGHT MEMORIAL DAY" as well
as "GLOBAL AIDS WEEK OF ACTION", I would like to take the privilege
to draw your kind attention by remembering our "Citizens Died of
AIDS" to protect the "Rights of Universal Accessibility To
Treatment" of the "Citizens Living with HIV in India" today.

As an ordinary citizen living with HIV for more than 7 years in
India and currently in 2nd line Anti Retroviral Therapy, under the
treatment of School of Tropical Medicines, Kolkata, without the
support of 2nd line Anti Retroviral Drugs as per National Aids
Control Policy.

We the citizens of India needs 2nd line ARD towards our productive
healthy life are living with the support of the foreign donors, with
an unknown support future. Some of them already withdraw support all
on a certain to some people like me, just avoiding Humanitarian
aspect of the stakeholders towards livelihood.

The National Aids Control Policy itself violating the Right to
Survive of the Indian Citizens like me by allowing us to die without
Treatment, although it is called as a Right Based Policy. The Policy
is just ignoring Citizens Lives as well as loosing National Human
Resource or National Productivity, causing "shortage in fund" or
mentioning the lives, "Small in Numbers". Practically, which means
our Government do not give any value to the lives, if they are small
in number! Hopefully, Constitution of India do not support above
mentioned logic of National Aids Control Policy ideally. Indian
Constitution indicates equal opportunity for every citizen.

Under these circumstances, I would like to forward my humble request
to you as President of India to take urgent necessary action to save
the lives of Indian citizens living with HIV needs 2nd line ARD with
an unknown future or to save us not to die without Universal
Accessibility of Treatment.

Thanking you,
Yours faithfully,

Snehansu Bhaduri.
49/A/1, B.P.Dey Street,
Serampore, Hooghly,
West Bengal, India.
Pin- 712201
Ph: +91-33-26521519
E-mail: snehansu_bhaduri@email.com

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Accentuate the positive

By, Society Guardian, May 15, 2007

After Kate was diagnosed with HIV twenty years ago, she writes on how she avoided despair to become an activist for the rights of women with the virus across the world

Twenty years ago I experienced what was probably the most significant event to shape my adult life: at around 11am one Tuesday morning in a clinic in north London I was told I'd tested positive for HIV.

What followed that moment was a time of fear and uncertainty about the future. The only certainty I'd been given by my doctor was that I would die, quite unpleasantly and quite soon. In the spring of 1987 I stopped imagining future relationships, long-term plans or career opportunities. Initially it was hard to think past the next few hours. Slowly hours became days, then days became months and, by the time 1987 drew to a close, I could imagine maybe the next year or two of my life at most. I was living in an unheated bedsit, sharing a bathroom with three alcoholic old men and I was scared of dying. But the council told me it would be several years till I could be re-housed, so that bedsit was where I imagined I would die.

It's 2007 and here I am in Geneva working in an interesting and rewarding job as senior adviser to the United Nations Joint Programme on HIV/Aids (UNAIDS). As of last month, I have a mortgage on a flat in London that would have probably cost me one tenth of the price if I'd bought it back when I was diagnosed. And last September I married my partner of 14 years, in the company of family and friends, many of who have also survived 20 or so years of their own diagnosis and been a source of support, entertainment and gossip throughout. Along the way I have picked up various educational qualifications, including a masters degree and a diploma in jewellery making and silversmithing, and more lines on my face than I'd like to see when I look in the mirror.

So what happened? I think the fact that I survived when most of my HIV-positive friends and colleagues from 20 years back did not make it is mainly down to chance and good luck. Chance and good luck to have become the third member of Positively Women shortly after my diagnosis. My involvement and activism helped me channel my energies in a way that enabled me to wrestle back some control over the virus, and we were able to obtain funding for the group and see it grow rapidly into the large and effective peer-led organisation that it is today.

When we formed the International Community of Women living with HIV, a network of women living with the virus across the world, people believed in our vision and agreed to fund us and listen to us. Again, it was chance and good luck that I didn't die during the time when I first stubbornly refused to embark on anti-retroviral therapy (ART). And it was good luck that the scientific evidence to support highly active anti-retroviral therapy (HAART) emerged when it did, persuading me to finally start taking the medication that has kept me alive.

There are only a few of the old HIV-positive crowd I knew from 20 years ago around now. Some are working in UN agencies and Aids-related NGOs. Others have gone back to the professions they were in before they were diagnosed. Some have retired or are still on benefits. Most are dead.

Some of us who have survived are succumbing to age-related diseases, such as cancer and heart problems. And some are still dying of Aids-related complications, such as my old friend Arnaud Marty-Lavauzelle, one of the first HIV-positive activists in France in the early days of the epidemic, who died in February in spite of being on ART.

A couple of months ago, I was in Iran, where I attended a meeting with colleagues from across the Middle East and north Africa. I was struck by the similarities between the experience of HIV-positive people in the region today and the circumstances we were facing twenty years ago in the UK. There is a dismal lack of services, information and support and in most countries in the region HIV-positive people are not organised into groups or networks and have very little involvement, if any, in Aids policy.

But there are some massive differences too - most importantly, ART is mainly available to the positive people I met, though treatment information and literacy are minimal. People living with HIV in the Middle East and north Africa also face massively different and more challenging cultural and religious constraints and environments than we ever did and encounter huge barriers over gender and human rights issues. Yet, there are brave people coming out and challenging the status quo across the region because they feel, like we once felt, that they have no choice.

Many of us in those early days were driven by the need to make things different and to fight for what we believed people living with HIV needed and deserved. Twenty years on, in the UK and where ART is widely available, fewer HIV-positive people seem to feel the need to become involved in the response. Yet we continue to see the same combination of fury, need, outrage and determination driving people living with HIV from other parts of the world to advocate for change. I believe we need to work alongside them and not be complacent - we may have our health today but who knows what awaits us around the corner?

I think, globally, these are dangerous times for people living with HIV. We need to claw back control of the agenda, especially with the increasing trend towards criminalisation of transmission and other conservative forces at play that seek to contain us and curtail the rights of marginalised groups.

Even though in many ways I've become a bureaucrat, I believe it's my responsibility to serve the HIV-positive community from within the system. The community is where my loyalty is and a large part of what I do is in collaboration with HIV-positive networks. I am also trying to bring Aids activism into the UN in a small way. Along with other colleagues we have created UN+, which is a UN system-wide HIV-positive staff group advocating for improved conditions for people living with HIV both inside the UN and beyond. We met regularly with the former UN secretary-general, Kofi Annan, during his term, and will meet for the first time with the newly appointed Ban Ki Moon early next week.

In some ways, looking back to early 1987, I wish I'd known then what I know now - that I would somehow survive the devastation and the loss of so many friends and, along with other survivors, be contemplating pension plans and mortgages and other daily things that most people take for granted. But I guess if I'd known it all then I might not have fought the battles I fought, taken the risks I took, done the things I did and ended up in the life I have now. I love that life and there's not a day that goes by when I don't reflect on how privileged I am to have it and on the good luck that's allowed me to hold onto it. So maybe it's a good thing after all that I couldn't see what the future held...

· Positively Women works to improve the quality of life of women and families affected by HIV. The organisation was formed in 1987 by two HIV-positive women, who identified the need for services specifically for women. A 20th anniversary edition of its magazine features the stories of 24 women diagnosed over the last 20 years. The different stories show the changing attitudes and treatment of women living with HIV over the last two decades. For details of further events to commemorate PW's anniversary or for more information visit positivelywomen.org.uk.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

'I am a survivor'

By, Jamie Baker, The Telegram, May 15, 2007

The word “survival” means a lot of things to Jennifer Murphy.

When she was 21, she found out she was HIV-positive. She said her doctor gave her three years to live. Her lone goal at the time was to live to see her child go to kindergarten.

Now, at 33, Murphy’s health is stable, but that doesn’t mean things have gotten a whole lot easier.

She has had to deal with being through the public wringer twice over allegations she failed to tell men with whom she had sex that she carries the HIV virus.

“I’ve been scandalized. There’s no other word for it,” Murphy says in a one-on-one interview with The Telegram, referring to how she has been treated in the public eye.

“I’ve been slandered, degraded, and discriminated against.”

On Monday, however, a ray of light shone into what has been an often grey existence for the St. John’s woman, when a charge of aggravated sexual assault against her was withdrawn.

She had been accused by a local man of having sex without telling him about her illness.

Murphy, who had previously been sentenced to a year of house arrest on a similar charge in Ontario in 2005, has maintained the man was fully aware of her health status, and that a condom was used.

In provincial court, Crown prosecutor Frances Knickle said a review of the evidence suggested it would not be appropriate for the case to proceed, effectively clearing Murphy of the charge.

“It’s vindication. This is the best day of my life, I just can’t explain it,” Murphy said shortly after appearing in court — even though it wasn’t required that she be there in person.

“People look at me and say ‘you’re such a strong person,’ but I’m shattered like glass inside. I’m just trying to put my life back together.”

Looking at Murphy, you would never say she’s faced such incredible adversity.

An attractive, petite woman with a 1,000-watt smile and boundless energy, she never breaks eye contact when she makes a point she feels is important.

She said she refuses to let her illness define who she is, even if others have attempted to do just that.

“I am a survivor, not a victim,” she says defiantly.

She acknowledges, however, that there are times when she feels alone and depressed.

But she also contends she has a lot to offer, and insists that, despite her illness, she should be able to lead the relatively normal life of any 30-something-year-old woman.

Murphy said her first goal, though, is to continue educating people about sexual health and HIV awareness. She said her public battles have made her “the ultimate counsellor.”

In fact, she plans to write a book about her experiences and says she is looking for someone to help with writing it.

She also wants to attend the next international AIDS conference in Mexico, to talk about the criminalization of the disease.

“I’m a liberated woman and there isn’t anything that’s going to shut me up. I’m going to be known as a loving mother, a caring friend and an activist,” she says. “I want to share my experience, my struggle, my strength and my hopes.”

Although HIV/AIDS has been around for more than a generation, she said it bothers her that people aren’t taking more care to protect themselves.

It may not be much of an ice-breaker to ask a person in a bar if they have been tested for HIV, for example, but she said the current situation dictates that it might be sensible for more people to do so.

“People are still under the illusion that it can’t happen to them. It happens every day,” she says. “I go to George Street and I see men and girls going off drunk, everybody just wants to have sex and nobody is thinking about HIV or condoms.

“I understand why people don’t talk about it, but you have to start caring about your health.”

Murphy calls Monday’s outcome a victory for both her and the HIV/AIDS community, and credits her family for helping her get through the many ordeals she has faced.

She singles out her mother, brother, sister and friends for “being by my side,” but she pays particular praise to her now-16-year-old son, whom she simply calls “my strength,”

“He is my inspiration and my ultimate reason for living and fighting,” she says. “I’ve been strong for him for so many years and now I’m tapping into his strength.

“He is my angel, my gift. He’s a fine young gentleman.”

Murphy hopes she will be able to have some semblance of normalcy in her life, and says she remains unfettered by how anyone might treat her because of her illness or legal matters.

“This is my conclusion — people who judge me or are afraid to be around me, those are the people spreading HIV because they don’t have a clue,” she says.

Source: http://www.thetelegram.com/index.cfm?sid=29681&sc=79

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

HIV test was positive, but life goes on

By, Rhoda Fukushima, Pioneer Press, May 4, 2007

In 1990, Annie Elmer was 32, worked full time as an administrative assistant, served in the Naval Air Reserve, kept physically fit and partied on the weekends. She called it "living in the moment." That year, she met a man with whom she had an intimate relationship. Not long after, she developed symptoms that made her doctors think she had Lyme disease. But Elmer of Cottage Grove put two-and-two together and got an HIV test.

"I was infected. I felt shocked. I was numb. I was so naive. I was confused. Do I have AIDS? What does this mean?

"I had my parents' support from the beginning. But people were still afraid. This was right before Magic Johnson went public.

"In December, I connected with other HIV-positive women and women with AIDS in a support group. All the women said things like 'I'm living for my children.' I didn't have children. I realized I had to live for myself because I probably wasn't going to have that.

"I learned I could be positive about my health. I needed to control the stress. I got what I needed (from the group) and had to leave. It could be perceived as selfish, but it was a survival mechanism. I wasn't in a situation where I could support them emotionally.

"I went on with life. I got the approvals to stay in the Reserve. It was around the time of Operation Desert Storm. It was so much stress, in addition to working full time, I got out.

"I hadn't missed a day of work. But I was an emotional basket case. I talked to my boss and wanted him to know. He was very respectful. I shared the information with only him and people closest to me.

"In 1995, I heard of different drug trials. I wasn't on any drugs. I thought maybe I could do something positive by participating. I was on the drug for a month. The side effects were terrible.

"Because I felt crappy all the time, I wanted to go public at work. My boss was supportive, but we wanted to get our occupational health department involved. There were 200 people in his department. Everyone was invited to the cafeteria.

"I got nothing but positive feedback. Here I had been going the whole time without support, and all these people had all this love. It was a huge weight lifted. I didn't have to keep it a secret anymore at work.

"The disease was becoming known for affecting heterosexuals because of Magic Johnson. That gave me more hope. Also, Pedro Zamora, a cast member with AIDS on MTV's 'Real World,' was a big inspiration for me to go public.

"The AIDS cocktails came out in late 1996. I went on them. I hated them, but in three months, (the virus) was undetectable. I was elated. I was on them until October 2000, when the side effects got to be intolerable. It also had emotional side effects - depression.

"I got so depressed I quit my job. I got offered a different job, and I stayed with the company until March 2004. I could sense it was the time in my life to do something else.

"I went to Dakota County Technical College for two years in exercise and sport science. I shared (my status) with students in my anatomy class. They were open and encouraging. I graduated in May 2006.

"Now, I'm working at a fitness club in Rosemount. I'm also training out of my home. I love what I do, but I'm an independent contractor. It takes a couple of years to become profitable. There's the struggle with finances, but I love being my own boss.

"My health is really good. I just found a combination of medications that doesn't have side effects.

"I could live as long as my parents or longer. I want to live life to its fullest. I want to live as healthy as possible."

Source: http://www.twincities.com/ci_5819396?source=rss